Anyway. back to the point. In the spirit of giving, two clarifications (yea, you hit the bonus round):
- I do not hate sportswriters—I hate sports writing, a dark crevice from which seeps an unfamiliar ooze resembling English but truly a bastardization of language that is perpetrated by hacks. The only thing worse is literary fiction (see #2).
- At least sports writing is not literary fiction, a bottomless dark crevasse from which weeps an all-too-familiar ooze resembling English but that is truly a bastardization of the language that is perpetrated by those who value MFAs over genius and technical expertise over storytelling. Literary fiction was created to reward the hacks who are incapable of writing actual stories. I wish (I know—"it is my wish"—whatever) that all the literary fiction authors would become sportswriters. At least then they would have some redeeming literary quality to recommend them.
Uh oh, did I just slam all the literary fiction "authors"? Oops.